somehow i feel useless to be your friend, my best friend

What does best friend mean to you guys?
For me best friend mean
Someone who know you the best
Someone who always try to understand our condition
Someone who always be there when we are sad and down
Someone who willing to share their sadness and happiness together..
What will you do if your best friend is not in a good mood?
What will you do if your best friend is sad?
I guess the answer is cheer them up..am I right?
But..
When my best friend was sad..
I can't make my best friend smile..
I can't make my best friend laugh..
My best friend called her friend and tell him how upset n bad mood she was..
I just felt that my presence there was useless till she called her other friend..
I am so sorry..=(

i have learned that..

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. I've learned that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

first day of school

I am taking photography as my major

this term is my second term

I only come to school every tuesday and thursday ONLY!

sounds great?! IT IS!

Tuesday,11 May 2010 was my first day of school after 3 weeks of holiday

and guess what?!

I was late for my first day..as usual..I am wondering why do i always late for my first day of school..

My class was from 9 a.m - 6 p.m

After i reached school and came in to the class, guess what did i realise?!

I am the only ASIAN where all of them are western

well i know all of them actually but i just felt awkward to be the only asian in the class

we learn about photography and digital printing and well it was pretty BORING

I was very sleepy on that day,so in my ind I just want to get home as soon as possible

my first day of school pretty bad i guess..

i am trying to be humble not to be saint

i am facing a problem right now..its just a small problem but it always stay in my mind..i never picky in making friends..i never do bad things to someone who didn't hurt me but this person is backstabbing me..i was wondering what i have done to that person till that person did this to me..

i told some of my friends regarding this problem and each of them telling me different opinion about my problem..actually in every single problem, you only have 2 choices..either let it be or revenge..but i didn't choose any of those..

i just take the middle way which is to be quiet and let someone else do the revenge..what i meant by be quiet is i didn't do like what that person did to me coz if i do the same thing like what that person did to me, it means i am similar to that person..

actually it feels good if you can revenge or your friends do the revenge for u..but it feels more good if someone else do the same thing to that person like how that person did it do me without i ask for it..it prove that karma works and GOD do what He supposed to do..

i am doing this not because i am trying to be saint but i am trying to be a humble person who believe that every time i lose something at the same time i gain something new and i believe that GOD has create a great life path for me..

i will not let this situation make me change to be who i am not..i will try my best to be who i am with the help of my sisters and friends..i rather have few best friends around me rather that a lot of fools around me..

something is in my mind

WHAT IF you feel like you have DOUBLE PERSONALITY?

in one side you are

a kind person who make friends with all people,

who try your best to help your friends who are in difficult times,

but never be aware of those people who try to do bad things to you

in other side you are

picky in making friends,

who never care about what people think about you,

who never care with anything,

who is sensitive and temperamental,

but aware of those people who are trying to do something bad behind your back

WHAT IF?!

you used to be someone who is sensitive and temperamental but after trying so hard you have changed to be the better side of you even though it took months and almost a year to do it.

for a year you live happily with what you have got, you happy with friends you've got, with people around you

BUT!

just because of something small happened, you can feel that your bad attitude is coming again..your emotion try to control you..you don't have enough power to against it..you let it flow to your body

WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!

are you going to go away from your friend's life?so they wont experience bad times in their life? OR are you trying to control yourself and ask people around you and who are willing to help you help to control you?